The Old Guy’s Still Got It

Hey there!  It’s been a while.  I have no excuses so I won’t give you any.

Guess what I did the other day?  Two chicks on the same day!  Really.  I do have standards even if they’re on the low end of the scale much of the time, but usually I have a break between chicks unless it’s a threesome.  Although, honestly I’m getting kind of long in the tooth for two chicks at once, you dig?  Anyway the two chicks the other day were room-mates.  For real, neither knew about the other so I hope nothing occurred later when they figured it out.  I didn’t see any homicides on the news so I think I got away with it.

One of the chicks – let’s call her Amanda  (It’s not her real name, her real name’s Debra) was stacked like Walmart at Christmas time.  Sweater meat out to here.  The girl could hold up a condo with the contents of her bra.  And y’all know me, I’m not averse to a little boob jiggle action.  I motorboated that girl till I almost asphixiated.  But what a way to go, right fellas?  She wasn’t much use in the sack old Amanda, but she had it going on in the northern continent so I let her off.

Her room mate though, let’s call her June as that really was her name, she was flat as a pancake in the chestular department but had an ass like a well-bred Mexican donkey.  I mean that as a compliment in case you were wondering.  She had a great big thundering ass you wanted to pound till next Tuesday.  Every time I flipped her over however, she’d flip right back with a disgruntled sigh.  The most I got to do in that region was slide the Captain along her ass crack a couple of times.  She was not up for any doggy action which made the Captain sad.

Am I getting too graphic for y’all?  Good.

Anyway, two chicks on one day wore me out and made me realize that I am officially fucking old.  In fact, it’s my birthday next week.  Not that numbers really bother me and a guy’s like a fine wine – he gets more fantastic with a few grays in his sideboards.  That’s what I tell myself anyway.  I did check south of the border and I’m still all man, all black haired awesome down there, so no worries about getting a mouthful of gray ladies.

This entry sort of turned me on, I have to go open a new jar of Nivea and whack it to Kim Kardashian’s ass till my hand cramps.

Hope y’all are well.  I love you guys.  All three of ya.


6 Responses to The Old Guy’s Still Got It

  1. God says:

    You know how gals are always goofy over Kleenex, right? Get one of the fancy boxes (one with flower decorations on it) and douse it with chloroform.

    I find if you (mostly) knock a chick out with chloroform first, she’s a lot more likely to let you sail your meat canoe down the chocolate channel.

  2. Tony Spunk says:

    Whoa there buddy, you’re even more depraved than old Tony. High five!

    I’m writing this down for future reference. “I don’t know why your pooper’s tender honey, were you bike riding yesterday?”

    I’m kidding. I ain’t no pervert. I’ll just drill me a hole in a melon.

  3. cynnie says:

    i got nothin..
    i swear

  4. Tony Spunk says:

    There ain’t much to say really, sweet lady. Best just chill.

  5. gnugs says:

    Well, you’ll find that perfect ass privately pleading to be pillaged, you pirate you. You should come with me to my next sorority alumni weekend.

    You’ll get your pick between the too young to know any better, and the too old to complain.

  6. Tony Spunk says:

    Holy moly G, you just made me sport some oak!

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