Last night was a rare night where I had no place to be. I’ve been playing a lot of shows lately and playing a lot of shows generally means drinking a lot of drinks and that usually means my liver packing its bags and going to cry in a corner.
So instead of an update on my crazy, sparkly life, I thought I’d show you some of my fan mail. Today’s letter is from a little chick (a teenager if you can believe that shit!) named Trixie. The ladies dig me, truly they do. I’m a magnet of sheer sexifullness.
I found out she’s 18 so it’s perfectly ok to be lewd. I mean she’s probably dim as a 3 year old bulb but sometimes those gals are little livewires. And Tony digs the livewires. Plus she can’t spell worth a damn but I figure so long as she can spell “put” and “out” all’s good. I’m a dirty old man, what can I say?
I totally made that image myself from what I could make out of her letter because you couldn’t read her actual letter properly due to the stains all over it from tacos and desperation. Y’all pretend it’s the real letter though, okay?