The Boys Are Back In Town

Well hola my babies, Tony Spunk is back in da house, did ya miss me?

I had a touch of the influenza this weekend. The ’24 hour zap your energy and leave you crying for your mama’ type of thing. It was like breathing in a Louisiana swamp all in one sitting. I was a little delirious for a while there and momentarily forgot to unleash my great fabulousness on the world but I’m recovered now so I think it’s safe to say I’m good to go.

Or come, if you prefer, ladies.

I went for a little body waxing today. Don’t laugh, a guy must maintain some standard of grooming if I’m to believe those dickwads at ‘Maxim’. Of course the chest hair remains (Rowr!) but the back hair had to go. Tony is a dark, devilish guy covered in dark, devilish hairs and one needs to control this hirsute manliness somehow. A lady doesn’t want lots of dark curlies under her nicely manicured fingernails, am I correctamundo, gals? I think so.

Talking of, what’s with those little decals the ladies are wearing on their nails these days? Little rhinestones and shit? Not that El Spunkarino is complaining or anything, it’s just kinda wacky. Especially when the lady scratching those babies down your back has little decals of Mickey Mouse on her digits. That ain’t right, truly. That’s some perverted shit right there.

So after a weekend without playing any shows I actually feel kinda revived and ready to party. I dusted off my leopard skin pants and polished my medallion and once I’ve given my organ a good rub down I’ll be at the Skybar tomorrow night. Be there or be absent, ladies. Wink.

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6 Responses to The Boys Are Back In Town

  1. dopeypants says:

    So….I guess my question is then, “Shave the pubes or what?” I mean for me. A guy. is that manly?

  2. tonyspunk says:

    Well, some dudes like to ‘crop around the cucumber’ as it makes their fire hose look bigger so whatever floats your yacht, man. Be prepared for some itchy scratchy when it grows back in however and maybe a little rash shaped like Australia or something. Not that Tony knows this from experience mind.

  3. katrocket says:

    On behalf of the Ladies, we definitely appreciate your manscaping efforts.

  4. tonyspunk says:

    Many thanks Northern Beauty. Tony does what he can to contain his awesome just for you ladies. No pain, no awesome, that’s my motto. Dig?

  5. The Guv says:

    The little nail decal things are so wrong. I mean who wants nails so long and decorated that they can’t type on a keyboard or open a damn bottle of delicious alcoholic wine cooler without help? Who I ask you?

  6. tonyspunk says:

    Well baby, so long as the lady can maintain a back scratching standard with those talons, all is ok with the world.

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