It’s All Balls to Me

OK, first of all? Any of you folks here in Nevada who saw the article in the Sun the other day from my Caesar’s gig? That was not my naked ass. Sure, it looked maybe a touch like my ass but, as most of the ladies in Vegas will attest, my ass is much less hairy than that guy, a lot less flabby and I prefer my mustache on my face, thanks all the same. I did call the Sun to protest and they assured me that it was hard to get me in the photo as that dude’s caboose was taking up the entire shot. Dude was every freaking where the camera man went. He was sort of like my own personal “Soy Bomb”.

On second glance I sort of recognize that ass. I’m sure I’ve seen that huge, hairy mole bobbing up and down at that party we did a set at last summer. Bobbing up and down on top of a senator’s daughter I seem to recall. She was either asleep or completely wasted at the time. Either that or I’m thinking of Enrique Iglesias’ face. A guy’s memory gets cloudy after so much martini…uh…time.

The show, a fundraiser for a local animal shelter, went pretty darn well. We raised over $3,000 and the roof. Hah. It will be a long time before those guys forget Pedro in a bowtie and nothing else doing a Russian dance on top of the Mayor’s table, his wind section swinging free in the breeze. I guess if that didn’t persuade folks to neuter their animals I don’t know what will.


5 Responses to It’s All Balls to Me

  1. dopeypants says:

    Why be ashamed of a hairy ass dude? You don’t need to go through all this stuff to misdirect us.

    PS: I saw your balls.

  2. tonyspunk says:

    No bro. See it wasn’t MY ass. It was some hairier dude’s ass. My ass is moisturized and coiffed. It doesn’t look like the ass of a terrorist baboon. It was not my ass, okay? NOT.

  3. dopeypants says:

    I don’t believe you. But that’s okay. You have bigger balls than I do, so I’m shutting up.

  4. katrocket says:

    I’m going to need to see that photo before I make a comment on this post.

  5. tonyspunk says:

    You know Dopey I don’t have to prove nothin’. My ass is perfection. I know you wanna see it. Don’t deny.

    Miz Kat – I was trying to figure out a way to scan it but I ain’t that sophisticated. I looked on their website but the article didn’t make into that edition only the paper one. Fuckers. My ass, uh, I mean that guy’s ass, could’ve been all over the netz by now.

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